A Confused Heart

by Mell
(Malaysia)

We have been together for one year and 3 months. During this relationship, we always fight with each other. The fight is usually because of his friends (all of which are girls).

He always asked me to give him his personal time with his girl friends. For example: staying overnight in a trip with them in a same room. Fetching one of his girl friend's family from the airport and go dinner at night.

When I ranted and show how jealous I was, he was sad and told me he no longer felt the same for me anymore. He said being together doesn't feel right anymore. He told me to do some self-reflection and try not to be so possesive in my next relationship.

I try to trust... I try but every action he did made me think otherwise. Is it really my fault this breakup happened? Or this is not the time for us to be together? A day after our breakup, he ask if we will revisit this relationship again in the future.

I am confused.

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A Confused Heart

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Dec 01, 2010
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What you feel is always correct
by: Stephy Rae

I never like to place blame on break ups; it just comes down to it's not going to work out for these two personalities, for whatever reason.

In your case you had a feeling that something wasn't right. In my experience if you have an uneasy feeling, there is something wrong in the relationship.

Either your feeling was completely accurate and he was doing something shady or he was a completely faithful and you have issues trusting someone that hangs out with too many girlfriends without you.

In either case this isn't the person for you.

If you have an uneasy feeling trust it, you are right to feel that way, you are not crazy... there is an issue there. Sometimes you might be able to work through it with your partner, but if you can't know that there is someone better suited for you around the corner. :)

Nov 10, 2010
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A sticky situation
by: Roberto

On one hand, it's important to love and trust until that trust is broken, but he's doing a lot of things that should make you suspicious.

Guys with lots of friends that are girls can go in one of two ways: Either he's a seducer and a cheater or he really understands women. The first kind will ruin your life and always keep you feeling sick and nervous. The second kind are AWESOME boyfriends.

There is a reason that he has so many girls in his life. I think you know, deep down, which kind of a guy he was.

Do you really think he was capable of cheating on you? If yes, then is was right for you to act defensive. If you strip away all of your feelings and simply look at him objectively and see that he wasn't cheating on you... Then you do have a problem with jealousy.

Jealousy is the worst thing to let seep into your relationship. Once those thoughts take hold, it's only a matter of time til a sad breakup.

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