Getting Over a Breakup

“It feels like I’ll never succeed in getting over a breakup.”

Breakups and lost loves can feel devastating, but getting over a breakup is your chance to make things right. It feels like it’s the end of the world, but actually, it’s part of the human experience.

Think of it this way: whether it’s your first love or your fiftieth, there are six billion people on this planet. Even if you are super-ultra-mega picky, that still leaves about 30,000 guys that are just perfect for you. Whether you dumped him or he dumped you, it’s actually a waste of your time to spend a second longer with someone who isn’t 100% into you or that you can’t love 100%.

It’s not just that there are other fish in the sea; there are 30,000 other fish in the sea! How’s that for a reason for getting over a breakup?

So here you are. You just lost a lover, a friend, a companion and probably a bunch of stuff and a pet or two. It sucks. And it’s easy to be overcome with shame, guilt, depression and fear of the future. But let’s back up a bit.

You can get through this breakup. Be strong!

How did you get here? What happened to bring you to this lonely state? No matter what the actual event or “straw that broke the camel’s back” that happened, it all came down to the fact that one of you was no longer being fulfilled. The desperate deed of staying in a situation like that will never make either one of you happy in the long run. It will actually breed resentment.

Think for a second about why you love this person so much. Are there any circumstances that “helped” to make you love him? Did you find each other in a rough time in your life? Did he save you somehow? Although these notions are quite romantic, they rarely lead to basic compatibility.

When we get into relationships, it’s easy to get complacent. Before, you would go out and be social all the time and now you find yourself hiding out in your house with your boyfriend. All the sudden, neither of you are as active as you used to be. It makes you dependent on each other and makes it even harder to let each other go even when things get exceedingly unfulfilling. You start to worry that you might be unattractive to the opposite sex and couldn’t bear to lose this stability.

Now you realize that you have given up a part of your dreams and lifelong goals for the sake of this relationship. What do you do now?

Remember who you were

The answer to getting over a breakup is quite simple: get back on track to fulfilling your dreams! Before you even met this guy, there were goals and interests that fell by the wayside while you put all your energy into this new relationship. Quite often, when you stop pursuing your dreams, you start to get restless. This never works well in a relationship.

Consider all the things you think about that interest you. Now what’s stopping you from going after them? Take up some new hobbies. Go back to school. Look into a new job. Move to a new city. You just made this huge change in your life, why not make more?

Get your old self back! Find a great way to heal your broken heart. Put your life back on track. Dynamic people are irresistible to the opposite sex. The bigger your life is, the sexier you become.

Let “Yes” be your mantra

Of course, your first temptation is to hide yourself away, put on your favorite comfy clothes and never leave the house again, but this will only make matters worse. Isolating yourself only makes you more miserable and doesn’t really help you at all in getting over a breakup.

Start saying yes to everything. Your friend asks if you want to go out? Yes. A cute guy asks you out to dinner? Sure. You get invited on a trip to Las Vegas? Yep. Someone hands you a flyer for Rodeo Clown College? Why not!

By getting out there and being active, you not only take your mind off of your pain, but you also start to realize all the things you’ve been missing while you were away in relationshipland. In no time, you’ll get yourself back to the powerful diva you used to be. Besides, it’s hard to feel bad about your ex when there’s a cute guy asking for your phone number.

Don’t go overboard

When getting over a breakup, it’s easy to go on a binge. Too much partying, too much alcohol, too much saying yes and you might find yourself in a worse situation. If you’ve really been out of the dating scene for a long time, refresh yourself on some dating safety and don’t forget, you call the shots. If something feels weird, it’s OK to say no. Take things easy and you’ll have no problems.

Make new friends

After a breakup, you’ll notice that friends tend to pick sides and go with the friend they knew the longest or liked the best. Although it’s not fun losing friends in the process of losing a boyfriend, as stated above: six billion people!

Start chatting up everyone you meet. Join some sports or clubs and make an effort to get to know everyone there. New friends are almost as fun as new boyfriends. Whole new worlds open up to you and are really magical for getting over a breakup.

It takes time to get used to this new lifestyle and it’s scary to think of the future, but if you stay positive and keep an open mind, getting over a breakup is really not that hard at all.

Back to Ending Relationships * or * Go to Why Did He Dump Me?