How do you tell a man how much you care about him without scaring him away?

by Jen2010

I’ve been seeing someone for almost a year. We haven’t spent a lot of time together as he is in the army so goes away a lot training. He is very shy when it comes to expressing emotions and i am too.

scaring-him-awayIts really doing my head in. I just want to tell him how much i really care about him, and that i would really like to start a relationship with him. I am really scared though. I did tell him in a very deep soppy girly way at the very beginning. He did distance himself at first which i kind of understand. So i backed off completely and he came back.

Although now I think my actions towards him have probably given him the impression that I’m not that bothered (i wait for him to call me all the time). But its the complete opposite. I do it to protect myself from getting hurt…i know its daft but i find it really difficult. Help!!


Our Advice to You

From Roberto:

Unfortunately, guys don’t fall in love the way you do. It’s something that they have to come up with on their own. Or at least it’s something they have to think they came up with all by themselves…

If you simply blurt out that you are in love, you might just tell Mr. Hard to Read the scariest story he’ll ever hear. Vanished!

He has to be sitting around some day and think, “Holy crap! That girl is perfect! How do you get there? By guiding him to this decision without being blatant. Easier said than done, right? Not really.

First start by not being his bootycall. Start to guide the relationship in to more of a relationship by not doing things strictly involving sex. Make things between you much more “normal.”

If you really need a secret weapon, check out Rousing the Lion for some super-secret techniques!

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A reader asks the question: "My boyfriend recently had a child with his ex but we decided to continue with our relationship however he's very excited about being a father and he shared every detail with me and I don't know how to be receptive of this...I myself don't have a child and I'm trying to be as supportive as I can but I just don't know how to treat the situation."

Got any advice for her? Have you dealt with this in your relationship?
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