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“I need to know how to spot a cheater.
I’'ve been hurt before.”

Some guys just can't be faithful

Some guys just can'’t be trusted. When learning how to spot a cheater, there are many factors to consider. Of course, a lot of these traits are generalizations. You can meet a guy who has some of these traits, but will be faithful. It’s important to follow your heart and never convince yourself that he is better than what he appears to be.

Our goal here is to identify cheating men before you fall in love with him. Although some of these qualities are just guidelines, there is nothing more powerful than your own intuition. If he seems shady or dangerous to your heart, there is an overwhelming chance that he probably is going to be a cheater.

The problem arises when this is actually something you’re attracted to. It’s OK to like the bad boys, but just keep in mind how hurt you’ll be if he actually cheats on you.

If you're already involved and need to figure out your options, it's best that you read a lot more on this subject. The book How to Catch a Cheating Spouse is not only invaluable for really helping you get into the mind of a cheater, it also helps you to really be on the look out for the little signs that we all notice but tell ourselves they're meaningless. We found it great because not only does it help you find out for sure if he's cheating, but it also helps you understand when your relationship is failing.

He'’s too flirty

There are men in this world who are exceedingly charming. They are entertaining and comfortable in any situation. Then there are the guys who get a little too close and try a little too hard around other women. These are the guys you need to watch out for. Even if they don’t have a very impressive game, eventually someone will say yes to his advances and now he’s cheating on you.

Overly forward guys are big warning signs on how to spot a cheater and avoid him. If he’s doing it in front of you, then he’s usually ten times worse when he doesn’t have someone watching over him. That’s not to say that all flirty guys cheat, but they are way ahead of their peers in the ability to go for it. And most of the time, cheating is a game of opportunity.

If your man never puts himself in the position to have an opportunity to cheat...

He’'s inconsistent

Inconsistency is the best way to spot a cheater. Let’s face it, most people in this world are very predictable. You only have to know them for a very short time to get a feel for their schedule and how they react in most situations. The moment he becomes inconsistent, either with the way he acts or thinks or treats you, you can tell right away that something’s going on.

He'’s selfish or self-serving

This is a general trait that most cheaters share. If they are always tending to their needs, the bond he may share with you might not mean so much if he gets the right kind of temptation. Keep on the lookout for any selfish behavior early in the relationship. If you have a self-serving guy, you might also have a cheater on your hands.

He'’s an adventure seeker

Sorry we have to add this one. An adventure seeker is a great thing to look for in a boyfriend, it's also a way to spot a cheater if only a potential one. Unfortunately, everything to some guys like this is a conquest. A man who is always in search of danger or new experiences might not have a problem with infidelity since it feeds into his quest for the forbidden.

He’'s unavailable

Some guys are just hard to get a hold of. Then again, some guys don’t answer their phones when they are... ahem... busy. How good is he at answering his phone? If he’s always picking up on the first ring, but some nights he doesn’t answer at all...

Speaking of his cellphone, does he turn the ringer off when he'’s with you or does he ignore his phone ringing sometimes? That is a great give away on how to spot a cheater. Maybe he answers his phone, but talks in a whisper. Another warning sign.

He’'s cheated before

If he left a girlfriend or wife to be with you, you can make a pretty safe bet that the same thing is going to happen to you. This also includes if he dated anyone who was married or in a relationship. I know, that seems like less of an infraction, but it shows that he might not put a high value on other people's feelings. If he ever admits to cheating before, take it as a get out of jail free card. You don't need to ask how to spot a cheater, you've already spotted him. Don’t get involved with him.

So is he a cheater? What do you do now? Can you save the relationship? Once again, a brilliant book has been written on this subject. Should You Stay or Should You Go asks all the questions you need to consider when thinking about leaving a shaky relationship. Maybe he did cheat on you, but is he truly sorry and willing to try to change? Weigh the pros and cons about your man and find out if he's worth saving.

The key point in how to spot a cheater is to follow your feelings about him. Go with your raw feeling and don’t try to add any “convincing” in with it. You know, when you tell yourself that he’s all about you and doesn’t need anyone else. Some say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." You need to decide if he can change for you and if he's even worth it.

Sedona Training Associates - The Sedona Method

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