I Can't Stop Cheating
(New York, NY)
I feel like a whore!
I can't stop cheating. I've cheated on every single one of my last seven boyfriends. I don't know why I do it, I just get these opportunities and I go with them.
My current boyfriend really is the best guy in the world. He's perfect and soooo nice. We've been together for 5 months now and I'm getting that antsy feeling that I'm going to have to cheat on him and ruin everything again!
I can't figure out why I can't stop cheating and why I've destroyed every relationship I've ever been in including one marriage and one engagement.
It's like right when I feel like I'm comfortable and safe, I NEED to do something to mess it all up. And then that moment I'm hating myself the most and feeling vulnerable, BOOM! Some cute guy shows up and starts flirting with me and it's on! I stop thinking and just want to f@&k this guy silly.
It's not like it's even worth it most of the time. The last guy I cheated with lasted only like 3 minutes. It can't be about the sex really since the guy I'm with is a gladiator in bed! But... I'm getting to that point that I know something bad is going to happen and I'm trouble.
What can I do? I don't want to kill the best relationship I've ever had, but I can't stop cheating. Am I doomed? Help!