I do not confess and I don't feel bad. What is wrong?

by Riviera
(London, UK)

I have had a few pretty long-term relationships and had cheated on them all. Not compulsively but when things have come naturally, I have gone with it.

This is the way I live my life in all aspects. I go with the flow...

I do not confess and I don't feel bad. Still I do not understand why I do it.

Here is a list of possible personal reasons:

Another way to rebel against everything, including a loving and healthy relationship.
For the thrill.
To feel I am still free to indulge myself whatever way I want.
Cause it has no (direct, immediate) consequences.
I don't look for it so it is a (false) way to not take blame for it.
I don't get emotionally involved.

To me all of them are true.

So what happened to me that I see nothing wrong in doing it as long as the other person does not know? I consider myself an emotionally faithful woman.

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I do not confess and I don't feel bad. What is wrong?

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Accept who you are
by: Roberto

So it sounds like you are stable and healthy. This is just something you do.

So then why don't we just agree that this is what you do? How do you pull that one off? Honesty...

So it might not work on the guy you are currently dating to just say, "Hey, I'm at the point in my life where I'm dating. If you're jealous or possessive or crazy, then go away."

But for anyone new in your life... People will agree to any number of stipulations as long as you set them up from the very beginning. This is great because it also filters out the stalkers and nutjobs before you let them so deep into your life.

I think you're doing fine and as long as you are up front with your boyfriends from the very beginning, there won't be any residual guilt whenever you decide to have a litte fun.

There's a great article about open relationships that will give you some guidelines on how to keep everyone happy (especially you).

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Thank you !
by: Anonymous

I do value my soul and my body quite high. I was not saying that I give myself to anyone who comes in my way. Quite the opposite. I am very selective. But if I like the person and the vibe I don't fight it. I roll with it.

The point here is I do not mix up things because my emotional needs are covered. I am quite open minded. I don't tell my boyfriend because I know it will hurt him whereas for me, it does not mean more than what it is. Fun.

Thank you for your comment. It has made me realise that what happens to me is that this is the way I am. Maybe I should offer my partner to have an open relationship. That is the bit I need to fix. Honesty and openness.

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If I Can, You Can Too!
by: Blondie L. Clayton

Hi, emotionally faithful woman, what you are is a woman who is protecting what's left of her, taking charge, pretending that she does not care but it is a lie.

Something has been stolen that was valuable and left you to survive.

I have no idea what that is for you, only you do. Be honest with yourself. How did you get to this point where you don't value what has been given to you?

I was right where you are. My problem, incest, rape and molestation, so I used my body as a weapon thinking I was getting even.

If you read my story at stopincestabusenow.blogspot, it would be very much like yours.

One day you will come to the end of yourself and recognize that the one who created you did not intend you to divide yourself up the pleasure of many men.

I didn't treasure my body. As a matter of fact I hated it, but things are different today.

By your explanation all is not well. Don't know what you believe in but you obviously have nothing to measure your worth by. It took me over 32 years to admit I was lying to myself.

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