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“ Is my man cheating? ”

He could be cheating on you...

When you start wondering, “ Is my man cheating,” it’s time to ask yourself if something has changed. Even great liars have trouble hiding their tracks. Little things about him start to change. He becomes secretive and starts doing things out of character.

Infidelity is often a result of much bigger problems, but it forces you to ask yourself if the relationship is going anywhere and if it's worth saving whether or not cheating has creeped in. The whole concept of "cheating" is rooted in the notion of "possession:" He is mine and I don't want to share. That's a perfectly fine way to feel about it, but a good question is what are you doing to keep your man and keep him happy?

The best way to protect your relationships from cheaters is to do everything you can to make him happy. Check out the book How to be Irresistible to Men to see if you are doing everything you can to ensure that his eyes are only on you.

Of course, being an awesome girlfriend or wife still doesn't change the fact that something isn't right. The following list are the 11 top signs that he'’s cheating on you. One warning though: all of these signs of infidelity should be compared to his previous actions and behavior. If he always gets weird when he'’s on his computer, then he'’s probably just looking at pornography. That’s an entirely different problem altogether (if you consider it one), but you can agree that it’'s a lot better than actually cheating on you.

Either way, you want to know and you want to know NOW. There is a great book, Bust Liars, That goes through all the things he'll probably do when he's lying to you. This book is some powerful stuff that every woman needs to protect herself and her relationship.

If he starts to change his behavior including becoming cold or even super-loving, something has definitely happened in his life to make that change. Not many people are that good at lying either. Check out this great article on how to lie to see into the mind of a liar. He might not actually even be cheating and only be depressed about something. The only way to know for sure is to see if he gives you any of the signs of a cheater…

He accuses you of cheating

Often a cheater will accuse you of cheating too. He has either opened up his mind to the possibility that you are engaged in the same acts as him or he’s just accusing you to throw you off his trail. Some dudes are just jealous, but when one accuses you of infidelity for no reason, be wary.

His sex drive has changed

When some men cheat, they start to lose all interest in you. They are getting exactly what they need elsewhere so sex with you becomes unnecessary. Some guys swing in the other direction and become hyper-sexual. He's having so much fun and learning new things about his sexuality, he just can't keep his hands off you too.

He might even start experimenting in the bedroom. If he starts suggesting or attempting sexual acts that seem “above your skill level” or just a little too kinky, he might be learning new things from someone else. When his sexual urges take a serious and unexpected upturn, it’s time to start asking, “ Is my man cheating?”

He kisses you differently

The lips don’t lie. When passionate or happy kisses are replaced with the kind of kisses you’d give to the creepier of your relatives, (even if he’s not cheating) these are a serious indication that something’s wrong in the relationship. Guilt is a very strong emotion and he might be avoiding contact with you because he is cheating on you.

He starts paying more attention to his looks

Most guys have their “style” whether it’s t-shirts and jeans or button down shirts and slacks. When new clothing starts to show up in the wardrobe that seems unlike him or more stylish than usual, he might have infidelity on his mind. As a relationship progresses, people tend to get more comfortable and stop dressing as nice as they used to. A new-found interest in his looks again might indicate he has someone else to look good for.

He might even take up a new interest in fitness that he never had before. Usually in couples, one of you will discuss the desire to start getting back in shape. If all of the sudden he has a gym membership and never discussed it with you, start feeling concerned for your relationship.

He “works” or is gone more than normal

Most women ask, “ Is my man cheating on me” as a result of how little they see of their boyfriends or husbands anymore. Somehow he has been forced to spend late hour at the office or gets called away inconveniently or unexpectedly.

He can’t cheat on you if he’s hanging out with you all the time.

So now he finds himself making tons of excuses as to why he has to leave or will be home very late or even go away on a job related trip. Does his job really require him to leave town for a weekend? Be afraid especially if he usually takes you along and now you are no longer invited.

He acts weird on the computer

Does he freak out when you walk into the room and immediately switch what he’s doing on the computer? Has he now password protected his laptop or some part of his computer? Is he erasing his web browsing history or doing things on the computer to cover his tracks? Does he get on the computer after you’ve gone to bed or stay on it much longer than normal? Is my man cheating on me? Ummm… probably.

He gets weird phone calls

Does he get “wrong number” calls or not answer his cellphone sometimes? Does he leave the room to take some conversations? Is he starting to end phone calls with “me too”? That is usually a response to someone telling him, “I love you.”

An excessive phone bill usually indicates long conversations with the same person. He might even handle the phone bill on his own now to keep you from seeing it.

Remember to compare his current actions with the way he used to act. If he's always stepped out to take conversations and always get wrong numbers, then don't worry about it. We are only looking for differences here.

He gets you gifts for no reason

Before you even consider if he’s cheating on you, he might start buying you gifts or giving you extra attention. It’s pretty cool to get those “just because” gifts, but is this not really part of his personality.

As we said, guilt makes a man do strange and unpredictable things. Those gifts might just be payment to you for destroying your trust.

I found condoms!

Do you two even use condoms anymore? If not, this is a 10 on the “ Is my man cheating on me” scale. Why would he have condoms? Someone was handing them out on the street… Yeah right! Be happy he’s actually using condoms, but if he has them, he’s using them.


You are fortunate you were born with a better sense of smell than a man. If he comes home smelling like someone else’s perfume or smelling of sex, this is a dead giveaway. Granted, some women use smelly lotions and perfumes and all he has to do is give a handshake for the smell to transfer, but if you keep smelling the same smells over and over again, he is coming in close contact with the same woman.

He might all of the sudden start smelling like different soap or freshly showered when he comes home. If he hasn’t been to the gym, why would he have taken a shower at night? Or maybe he comes home and heads straight for the shower. Warning!

Stains in his underwear

If you’re really freaked out, this is the last place you should look. The smell of sex gets transferred into his underwear even if he was using a condom. Snooping is a really bad thing, and this one is pretty creepy, but when you really need to know, this might be your last bit of information.

When it comes to finding out if your man is cheating, you must ask yourself if he’s giving you reason to be suspicious or are you just a jealous person? Before you get too deep into your sleuthing, stop and consider what the consequences are if you start snooping and it’s not true.

Sarah Paul's book, "How to Catch a Cheating Spouse" gives you all the ways to know for sure what your man is up to. If you've actually considered doing something like hiring a private eye, do yourself a favor and get this information first to see if it's even necessary.

Make sure there are at least a few of the “ Is my man cheating” signs out there before you make any accusations. Be ready for whatever answers he might give and decide what this means to the future of your relationship. Do you forgive him? Or do you start making plans to move on?

Go on, make yourself happy - have an affair!

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