My Latest Breakup

by JM
(Canada)

We were matched on eHarmony. in November 08. He was 8 years older than me and I was living in Canada and he in the U.S.

I still felt the connection was worth the distance. We talked almost everyday online for 2 months before we finally met in person on Jan. 3rd. From then on, our relationship blossomed and we managed to alternate seeing each other every 3 weeks.

I tried hard to please him and make him happy and was hungry for his love. He told me he loved me in person and online but I was not ready to say it to him.

We made plans to see each other on the fourth of July weekend and I was to meet his parents and friends about 4 days into our vacation together. Everything was going wonderful and I was so happy to see him and spend some time together. On the 3rd night (before I was to meet his parents), we were in the middle of being intimate and he was being very selfish. He had been selfish before in our relationship and I fully intended on speaking to him about it but not during our nice vacation. Eventually he became frustrated and made a very hurtful comment to me "You're too big".

I admit, I replied with a very harsh reaction because he could've said anything but that in a intimate moment, but it cut me so deep, it was knee jerk reaction.

I cooled down on the sofa in the livingroom and then approached him in the bedroom to talk about what happened. He told me it was late and we should talk about it in the morning. The next day he was up ahead of me and waited for me to awake. He came into the room and told me it was over (after 8 months) and that we were growing apart and bickering a lot. He also said it was clear to him that we were wanting different things.

I tried to persuade him to really think about what he was doing, apologized for flying off the handle the previous night, explained how much he hurt me and asked him to work through it with me. He said he had to think about things alone and asked me to leave. I told him there was nothing I could do to change his feelings, so I reluctantly packed my belongings. We hugged goodbye and I wished him goodluck. He wished me goodluck too.

I left having to drive 5 hours home with a broken-heart. I still think about him all the time - it was only 3 weeks ago and miss him a lot. I wish he would contact me, but I also know it will only prolong the bad feelings I have. I admit my ego has taken a blow, and it is really hard to move on. I keep comparing him to all the other men I am matched with.

I hope this helps comfort others who have been through a similar situation. I have been broken-hearted before and managed to move on. I know in time I will feel better about my latest breakup and be able to start looking for someone special again and have learned from my mistakes.