Now I Compare to Other Girls

by Victoria
(Washington)

My boyfriend I have been dating for 2 and a half years. He was my first kiss, first love, first everything.

Up until last night, everything was going so good. I started my junior year of high school this year. He went away to college in Texas. We survived the long distance for 8 months now.

Last night's call was so great. He kept saying how he wasn't a good boyfriend which I should have seen as a sign. But no, I kept telling him, he's perfect for me, he's an amazing boyfriend, and I love him with everything I have, and our future together is going to be incredible.

I kept reassuring how I feel about him, but the moment he said, "I don't know what I want in my future anymore," I knew it.

We talked about it more and I told him I understand that it's a lot to take on, but deep inside i wanted to just hang up and break down. As I was hiding away tears, I told him that he can figure out what he needs in life, whether it's me or not.

I just asked him one final question, why? He told me that since we been apart for so long, he doesn't just see ME anymore, like I just see HIM. He said that a lot of girls at his college possess the same traits and characteristics as me, but all in all, I couldn't hang on to my spotlight anymore.

I wished him the best of luck with whatever girl he wished to pursue. I wished him happiness, even though deep down inside I wished it was me.

So now, I'm just trying to be strong. I think the hardest part will be seeing him update his facebook with someone else in my place.

I'm just throwing away everything that reminds me of him. I can't do it anymore.