“How do toxic relationships happen? Things used to be so great.”

That’s usually how it happens. Toxic relationships creep in as things slowly break down. The problem is that your love doesn’t know any better. You still feel all the same feelings but something has horribly changed. It’s possible, you’ve always been in toxic relationships and don’t know that there are guys out there that will treat you with admiration and respect.

The biggest problem is that troubled relationships have a way of turning into abusive relationships, so if any of the following applies to you, start considering your options.

He calls me names

There is no name calling in good relationships. The only name calling you should hear is words like “baby” and “dollface.” When your man calls you names it’s a fundamental sign that he doesn’t respect you. It’s demeaning and often cruel.

The real problem with this is that almost all physically abusive relationships start out as verbally abusive. It slowly wears down your self esteem and has no other place in a relationship other than to hurt you.

If your guy has no problem calling you a bitch or worse things, take that as a huge warning sign. Even if he only calls you names when you two are fighting, this is still not normal behavior. It’s disrespectful and inexcusable.

He never calls

He doesn’t call. He doesn’t answer his phone. He only contacts you when he needs something. You can hardly call this a relationship. In fact, it’s pretty much him using you. The problem is: you let him get away with it. A guy that will only call you when it fits into his schedule doesn’t think of you other that that way.

You will find yourself in dating limbo always waiting for him to call or come by. The important thing to consider is that this type of toxic relationship will pretty much stay this way until one of you gives up. He won’t magically decide to treat you better.

He doesn't listen to me

This happens in varying degrees in all relationships, but when he really starts ignoring what you say, he’s on his way out. People are funny this way. He could be totally miserable in the relationship but will never leave it. Either he’s too comfortable, he’s getting some things he wants, he’s afraid of leaving, or he’s just plain lazy. When he stops paying attention to you, this is a sign that things are taking a turn for the worse.

Of course, this also comes along with two people getting used to you, but if he goes out of his way to ignore you, watch out.

He doesn't put any effort into the relationship

Does it seem like your boyfriend just takes and never bothers to give. He doesn’t show any effort to make you feel loved. He just does the bare minimum to keep you from complaining. In many ways, this is one of the worst relationships. You really have to step back to see that you put in all the effort and he benefits from all your good loving but gives you very little in return.

It’s hard to leave a relationship when there really is nothing horribly wrong. But at the pace of things, you are more like roommates than lovers. Ask yourself if this is really what you want. Do you want someone who can make you feel loved?

He's emotionally immature

Emotionally immature people can be very cruel. They get upset at stupid things. They do embarrassing things when upset and during disagreements, they take off the gloves and go for the low blows. Does it seem like everything could start an argument? Do you really have to watch what you say or do because most things upset them? Not fun.

He's very jealous

Jealousy is a huge sign of insecurity. You know that you’re not doing anything wrong, but you still get accused of it anyway. Jealous guys have been known to do all kind of creepy things to protect what they feel is “their possession.”

Phone tapping, computer keylogging, snooping, and stalking are all part of their strange little world of mistrust. The problem is that technology is making it easier for them to continue their paranoid fantasies.

There is essentially no way to “logic” him into trusting you because jealousy is often completely irrational. At first, it seems kinda cute that he’s into you that much, but over time, it can be very irritating that he can’t trust you to do anything. Learn how to deal with jealousy before it turns into something worse.

Physical abuse

Let’s just start with one simple truth. Anyone who does any kind of violence against you is not normal. No matter what examples you have of other relationships. No one deserves to get hit. Physical abuse is at the top of the list for what defines toxic relationships. If abuse or any of the other things are happening to you, it’s time to figure out should you stay or should you go? This book simply asks all the questions you really need to consider to see if you aren't getting everything you deserve in your relationship.

When you’re stuck in toxic relationships, it’s pretty hard to understand how you got there in the first place. It all happens so slowly. With a little knowledge and more confidence, you will have everything you need to get away from your toxic relationship and get back into relationships you deserve. It can be a scary process.

When we have clients who need a bit more help getting things together, we often recommend hypnosis! Sure it sounds a bit like mumbo-jumbo, but sometimes it's not so easy to realize how great you really are and how much happiness you can have in your life. Hypnosis really gives you the strength to find better relationships.