"Learning about thought processes
is the first step to understanding men."
We have all been told from a very young age that men and women are equal. We are all humans and essentially exactly alike. In the dating world, this is dangerous thinking and the wrong way to go to understanding men. There is a big difference in how men think versus how women think.
To put it simply, we all have different goals when it comes to what we need from a relationship. Not only that, men and women have completely different sets of "basic commands" pushed on us from our own genetic drives.
We certainly have all of that great free will, but have you ever found yourself doing something or getting into a situation you just knew was stupid? In some cases, the will of you genetic makeup tries to take over and do things that make no sense at all.
When we look at a man's brain, these directives go through an entirely different set of filters. If you've every wondered how men think, or why men do the things they do, things are about to get interesting. (It's also about to get a little technical.)
Psychology describes in each person's brain there are actually three different brains, each handling a different process. This makes it so we don't need to think about breathing or walking. It also helps us to immediately react when the body senses danger so we don't always need to think of saving ourselves. For our purposes, we only need to think about how this fits into mating and how feelings of desire and love are formed.
The Lizard
The first part of the brain is the "lizard" part. It doesn't deal with any complex thoughts, just plain old survival. It keeps us safe and fed, but it also does the most basic calculations when it comes to choosing a mate such as desire and lust. It does simple basic comparisons like:
"Is this person healthy?"
"Is this person dangerous?"
"Does this person have good genetics (can I create successful offspring with him/her?"
Most importantly, it asks, "Am I sexually attracted to this person?"
The Monkey
The next part of the brain is the "monkey" part. It handles a bit more complex thinking and forms your subconscious mind. It is the basis of your emotions and also the home of your self-esteem. This is where you decide things like:
"Does this person understand me?"
How does this person make me feel?
It's main function is to ask, "Am I emotionally attracted to this person?"
The Man
The last part of the brain is what separates us from the lizards and the monkeys. Here is where we make all the super-complex decisions and also where we house our function to think. This brain looks the prospective partner over and asks:
"Will I be intellectually stimulated by this person?"
"Is this person in my 'clan' or in a group I am interested in?"
"What does this person make me think?"
It basic function is to determine, "Am I intellectually attracted to this person?"
So what does this all have to do with getting a cute guy to hang out with you?
First of all, it determines the order in which men get "hooked."
Typically when a woman sees a cute guy, her first thoughts are based on more intellectual factors than his endowments. She starts from the human part of her brain, goes to her monkey brain and determines her emotions on the subject, and then checks in with her lust.
When a man sees a woman, his split-second calculations start from the sexual and work their way into the intellectual.
The attraction blueprints for men and women are opposites of each other.
The common cliché that men think with their privates isn't entirely true. It's more like they think with their… um… lizards.
What can you do with this crazy knowledge? First of all, it helps to recognize that men don't think like you do. While we're here, it's pretty safe to say that men are never thinking what you're thinking. So for the next date you're on, here's a good reason to quit obsessing over something and be totally 100% there. He's really not thinking what you're thinking!
Once you can show a guy that you have a great understanding of men, your “cool chick” factor skyrockets!
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