Is he THE ONE? Did I really find my soul mate?
The notion of soul mates or asking yourself, Is he the one has deep roots in every culture. It does have some serious drawbacks. Once you have determined someone to be your soul mate, you have essentially turned them into some kind of emotional messiah.
Sure there all kinds of perfect men out there who give you almost everything you need, but then why do half of all marriages end in divorce? People cloud themselves to all the other character flaws and downfalls their boyfriend has because now he is the perfect soul mate.
Some women want a relationship so bad, they refuse to rule anyone out. They get into mediocre relationships and secretly (or openly) yearn for that perfect relationship. That magical completion of yin and yang, man and woman fitting perfectly into each others lives. Is he the one? He must be hes still here!
The problem here is that even seemingly awesome relationships have difficulties because you are two different people with different desires and goals. Once you start thinking your man was pre-destined to be with only you, that part in your brain that tells you to keep your wits about you actually shuts down.
Those things that normally would drive you up the wall about someone are now cute little peculiarities. Is he the one? He must be my pet peeves dont bother me anymore! Once that magical feeling of new love wears off, so will the cuteness of his quirks.
So how can you determine if he really is the one? Promise yourself to pay attention! Yeah, hes smart, cute, and dangerously sexy, but what does he actually do for you?
Before we examine this a little closer, stop and ask yourself one question: Do I really have the skills to keep my soulmate? Consider checking out the book Rousing the Lion to learn all the super-secret ways to keep a man feeling like a warrior and to always keep your man infatuated with you.
Is this what I really want in a relationship?
Does his lifestyle and life goals fit in well with your own? Sure its great to have a warm body around, but do you honestly see your lives getting better and better? Can you picture great opportunities both separately and together? Can he help you achieve your goals both emotionally, spiritually and financially?
Sure, love is blind or whatever, but if you even remotely think that it might upset you many years from now that hes a truck diver, he’s always been a truck driver, and always will be a truck driver, then perhaps he’s not the one.
Does he really respect me?
Its amazing how many women forget this step. Sure hes nice to you and he loves you, but does he really respect the things you say or the decisions you make for your life? Its one thing if he makes fun of you for a silly thing you’ve done, but does he understand why you do what you do and help you out with some great advice? Or does he treat you like you’re just a dumb girl who he keeps around because you’re cute?
All great relationships are based on a mutual respect for each other. Make no mistake about the whole equality issue, guys and girls have vast differences in the way they think and what they consider important and what they hold dear, but understanding that you are both different and deciding to celebrate those differences will really help you answer, “is he the one?”
Does he make me happy?
Sure he makes you happy, but why does he make you happy? You can even ask when does he make you happy? If he goes out of his way to make you happy and does it all the time, you’ve got a good man on your hands. If he only does it when hes expecting something in return or after he’s messed up in some way, your guy might be a little selfish.
Selfish and uncaring people can also get you smitten with them because they come through at the last possible moment. You start to reward them for pulling rabbits out of a hat only when they really have to. Then you convince yourself how great they are for mostly not letting you down.
A great guy won’t let things get to the point of having to save the relationship. They’re always there for you and they rarely apologize because they dont get into situations where they need to.
Can he handle me at my very worst?
How does he act when you are in a terrible mood? Does he do his best to cheer you up and make things right or does he call you a bitch and say something offhand about your period? Is he the one? If he sticks by you even when you are feeling moody and depressed, you’ve got yourself a winner.
How long have you been together?
Sometimes you feel that you’ve met your soulmate right away. You, my friend, are in the biggest danger. Not stalk and kill you danger, but danger that you aren’t thinking with all your senses. Love can be intoxicating (and there’s a reason why we shouldn’t drive drunk). Dont love drunk either.
When you first start feeling love, the brain is flooded with happy chemicals that were entirely necessary a long time ago. Back then, you had to become devoted to your caveman so hed stick around and help feed and protect all your dirty little cave babies. Given the fact that nowadays, you can take care of your own business, that ultimate chemical devotion is not longer needed. It still is a pretty incredible feeling though
Really getting to know someone after those first few flushes of love drugs takes some time. In fact the first group of love drugs starts wearing off between a year and a half and three years. Then you either snap out of your chemical induced stupor and see what a jerk he is, or you calmly and quite intelligently start to understand how great your guy truly is.
Fortunately, if you’re asking yourself, Is he the one, then theres a pretty good chance you got a good one (unless you do it with every guy). As long as you keep your eyes open and never stop listening to your intuition, you can catch and keep this perfect male specimen. Find out more ways to hold on to him. The moment you lie to yourself that something he does didn’t happen or doesn’t bother you, then you are in danger of falling hard for a guy who doesn’t deserve your great love. Is he the one? He’s very lucky to be with someone like you. If you want to check out your compatibility based on your astrological sign, find out your astrology compatibility from our friends at Compatible-Astrology.com.
You’re not done yet!
Let’s say, you’ve gone through all this information and determined, yes! He really is your soulmate, the one, the perfect male specimen. Your work is far from from done. Now you have to figure out how to keep him. Just because he is and does everything for you that you’ve ever wanted, doesn’t mean he’ll always feel that way unless you work very hard to keep things awesome.
Don’t let your soulmate slip away by being lazy. We really can’t say enough great things about the book, The Art of Irresistible It has nearly everything you need to know to keep him hopelessly infatuated with you. It’s packed with brilliant tips, interesting ideas, and whole new ways of thinking that will actually make you a much better girlfriend/wife/lover. You can also check out our section on How to be irresistibly attractive with tons of tips and services on how to make yourself his soul-mate.
You’ve found yourself a great man. Now is not the time to lay back and relax in your glory. Get up and get busy making this the best relationship known to man. Is he the one? Hell yes! Because you have done everything in your power to deserve his sweet love!