How important are online dating profiles?
If you are serious about online dating and finding the perfect guy, than online dating profiles are everything. Lets rephrase that: If your Internet dating profile says the wrong things, then you will only have pervs, weirdos, idiots, and scumbags respond to your ads.
If you are brand new to online dating, then you absolutely need the best manual to online dating. The Online Dating Assassin goes into how important it is to make yourself stand out and be safe on the Internet.
If you have a profile up right now and you’re only getting responses from weirdos, then you did something wrong.
The key to online dating profiles is to be upbeat. Everyone is online searching for fun. If you say anything that might bum someone out, then you have already lost a big section of the quality guys out there who are choosy and want someone who won’t bring them down. Of course, it is important to be honest, but you should leave a little mystery. Don’t get into anything that might be considered a negative until the emailing phase (*see below).
You might notice that I keep saying dating profiles. Yes, we mean profiles! There are hundreds of dating sites on the Internet these days getting as specific as dating anyone form Eskimos to train conductors. Putting up a profile on most of these is free to begin with. You would be silly not to have online dating profiles up on all the ones that sound interesting. Each one of these profiles should be a little different, at least at first.
Our goal is to fine tune the perfect profile that attracts the best guys. The only way to do this is to test for yourself and see which ones work.
Wait a second, this sounds like a lot of work! The hardest part is figuring out how to describe yourself. The fine-tuning happens when you see a really cool thing that someone else said and incorporate that into your profile.
Who are you?
So lets get started. Who are you? How can you describe someone so great in about a hundred words or so? Were already starting out on the wrong foot. Think instead who the guy is you are looking for. What qualities is he looking for in a woman? Do you have those qualities? How can you relate that you are the perfect girl for him?
Some might think it would be to say all the things you think he.d like. For example, the women who put how much they like sports in their profiles. They go out to a sporting event and she is exposed as a faker. Do yourself a favor and don’t ever say you are something that you’re not. It might get your foot in the door, but it will never last.
So what are men looking for? As they scan through online dating profiles, they are looking for someone whos cute, nice, and fun to hang out with in pretty much that order. Obviously, this is an over-generalization, but if you can use your words to express these qualities, you are miles ahead of the other girl’s online dating profiles! Your only goal is to stand out from everyone else. Never use any of the standard phrases you have seen online, “Im a jeans and t-shirt girl, but I like to dress up.” “Looking for my knight in shining armor.” “Looking for Mr. Right Now.” “Looking for LTR”. Etc. etc. etc
These phrases and abbreviations and hundreds more make you look like everyone that has ever written a relationship profile since the dawn of newspaper personal ads. Basically, if you’ve heard it more than once, its off limits.
Stand out from the crowd
So what can you write? Think about things that make you happy. Things that you love to do for your man. Experiences you enjoy sharing with someone you love. Aspects of your personality that make you unique. You absolutely must try to make your online dating profiles make you look unique.
You want to be a bit of a challenge but not in a confrontational or bitchy kind of way. Just let him know you’re worth the effort. This alone will flush out a bunch of the creeps because they know they’ll never have a chance.
Think about things you’d love to share with your man, and no, it cannot ever include sitting and watching TV. He can do that on his own AND watch what HE likes. Why would he ever need someone there to witness him being boring. Think about active things that you might not be doing now, but might want to do with this new fella. Saying something like, ”Id really love to learn how to water-ski. Could you teach me?” is way more intriguing than, “I love to read and hang out with my four cats.” You can still be the reading cat-lover, but the first one makes you so much more fun already.
Did you notice that asking for waterskiing lessons implies that he should have a boat? If you said, “I want a guy with a boat” in your online dating profiles, now you sound like a spoiled gold-digger. Also, you put him in the position of power by making him the teacher. You get to show your feminine side, massage his ego, and go waterskiing! The best part is that you might already know how to waterski! Let a man be a man.
Own your quirks
Now lets look at the negatives. All those things about you that might not be seen as ideal for the greatest amount of guys like age, weight, disabilities, children, divorces, height, or whatever. The great part is that none of these are really disadvantages. You are a specific taste and are still as appealing to men. You are just looking at a smaller group of them, but they are down with whatever you got going on.
Makes sense, huh? If a man is not looking for a Big Beautiful Woman than there is nothing you can do to get him to date one. There are, however, tons of guys searching through all the online dating profiles who absolutely love BBWs. These are the guys you are speaking to and no one else. Same goes for having kids, or being older, or have alternative sexual tastes, or whatever else you think might be negative or affect your ability to date. You are simply not addressing those guys who arent down for your particular flavor.
Tons of people are struggling with sexually transmitted diseases. The thought of having “the talk” with that new dude who’s perfect in every way is enough to never want to get out there. Will he freak out? Will he blab to everyone that you have an STD? Forget all that by finding someone who shares your “situation.”
Get it? Some people might not want to date someone with your particular flavor, but there are tons of people who love you just how you are. And that is a fact!
*This is where we talk a little bit more about honesty. *NEVER* lie about or misrepresent anything you might consider a negative in your online dating profiles. You will never be able to trick a man into loving you if he feels hes been lied to. Never send pictures of when you were a decade younger or 100lbs lighter. If you’re lucky, he’ll play along for the rest of the date and then never speak to you again. If you’re not, he’ll embarrass you in a public place. If he’s really sleazy, he’ll try to sleep with you and then disappear. Either way, you will end up miserable.
Its just a bad idea and not a great way to start a relationship.
Your picture is the most important part!
Another aspect of your online dating profiles is your picture. Definitely have one! The more, the better. Without a picture, you miss out on about 80% of all the guys online.
What? No good pictures? Go get one made. This is one place where you simply cannot be a cheapskate. A great picture of you will serve you well in your online dating experience. Find a local photographer (or student) to shoot some natural (non-studio) shots of you. They should look like your friend shot them when you were doing something interesting.
The more action and drama and implied fun you can pack into these shots, the better. It’s best to have different sets of clothing, maybe different hairstyles, and different makeup if you can. At least one good shot that shows your face will do you wonders.
You absolutely need to have a good RECENT picture of yourself on your Internet profile if you want to get any sort of attention. The picture should show you smiling. It should be clear and bright and not make you look crazy. You might laugh at that statement, but we see the worst crazy pictures online all the time.
Perfection takes time
Ideally, the first guy who contacts you will turn into your husband, but it never works out that way. You must get used to the fact that online dating is a process: one that could take several months at least. That’s another reason to have your face up on several dating websites! It all starts with your stellar online dating profiles. Tweak them as you learn more in this dating process until you have created a description of yourself that is irresistible.
One day months from now, you will be lying in bed, snuggling with your best boyfriend ever and realize that it was worth all the effort.