“I’m afraid of dealing with jealousy in my relationship”
It happens to calmest among us. Dealing with jealousy in some form or another pops up in all relationships. When it happens in a long distance relationship, it might just destroy it.
Lets start with the most obvious thing. Don’t date a guy with jealousy problems. Jealousy is one of those gateway emotions. It does not accomplish anything and it shows how insecure someone is. When you get jealous, how does it make you feel? How do you react? When a guy feels this way, he always expresses it as anger, but he can also show it as violence. And once he goes for violence, things will only get worse.
Maybe it’s also time to look at yourself. Do you always seem to attract jealous guys? Guys like this tend to be controlling and are seeking women they can boss around. Are we saying you’re weak? Only you know that. But no matter what your heart tells you, there are tons of ways to get yourself out of these situations. One of our favorites is a great audio course teaching you how to get your confidence back. Once you really understand how great you are, problems like jealousy in relationships magically disappear because you’ll no longer attract small-minded men anymore! Does that make sense? Jealous guys always fall for a certain type of woman: one that he can hold power over. If you are the kind of girl with unstoppable confidence, you’ll never get another guy like this in your life again!
A jealous guy will ruin your life
If you want a guy fighting for your honor all the time, then date a jealous guy. The problem is that it never stops with him smacking the losers who hit on you at the bar. It often spills into your family and professional life. He might want to beat up your boss or your male cousin. You know that guy you’ve been best friends with since preschool? You’ll have to lose him too just to keep the peace.
Even then it doesn’t stop there. Men who have problems like these will run away all your friends and keep tabs on where you are and who you’re talking to. Girls Night Out? He won’t let you do that anymore. Anything that you might be able to get in trouble? Nope. Forbidden.
The goal of the jealous boyfriend is to get you away from anyone who is going to tell you how controlling he is. Plus he can keep tabs on you “to keep you out of trouble.” Are you really so much of a child?!
One day, you might get sick of his jealousy and leave him. Studies have shown that most ex-boyfriend stalkers were always dealing with jealousy. After getting dumped, they took on the “if I cant have her, no one can” mentality.
That is really scary! Jealousy is a terrible emotion that makes people do terrible things.
How to deal with a jealous boyfriend
Fortunately, jealous guys are relatively easy to spot. They get angry easily and they watch over you intently. Maybe on the first few dates, he’ll mention fights he’s been in. If he shows any signs of using violence to settle his problems, jealousy is usually not far behind.
It might seem cool that you have a manly man that can protect you, but unless you live in a dangerous part of the world, needing a guy who is readily willing to fight is an outdated idea. Dealing with jealousy starts with how you feel about the men in your life. Men that are ready for violence might seem sexy and forbidden, but they also come with all kinds of other problems.
The best advice on dealing with jealousy: stop it from the very beginning. The first time he shows this kind of insecurity, dump him. That’s right, we said dump him! Even if you totally love this guy, dump him. Jealous boyfriends are emotional guys. You need to show him how serious you are about not needing that kind of drama in your life.
“But I LOVE him!” Yeah yeah… Of course you do. However, you need to do this to deal with his jealousy and make your point clear. We’re not saying you can’t take him back, but you can not take him back until it’s clear to you that he has learned his lesson. If you do take this emotional man back, you have to make it clear that you will not tolerate his jealous behavior and that is the only condition on which you will let him back in your life.
You will be amazed at how asserting yourself like this will change him.
Don’t let him get away with it
There will be times when he will try to act jealous again and you must stop him in his tracks… Immediately! The truth about people is that they will usually comply if they are told something with enough authority. This is why we can’t say enough about getting unstoppable confidence. You can get everything you want if you feel you deserve it.
What if he’s the type of guy who won’t listen or worse, gets angry when people tell him what to do? Girl, this is a bad situation. Some guys hate it when their girlfriends try to assert themselves. They want a submissive woman. You won’t have much choice in this one. You don’t have much choice on dealing with jealousy. You will have to let him go.
Think about that for a second… Things will only get worse when your boyfriend is jealous and dangerous. Anything short of making him take an anger management course all spells out an ending whether it’s by you leaving or by you getting a restraining order or worse!
Dealing with jealousy is kind of addicting. You get all of this drama and something to talk to your friends about. You get the suspense of the uncertain nature of your boyfriend’s anger. Plus you get the intensity of making up after a big fight. You need to believe that you really don’t need this in your life. Having a jealous boyfriend is as much your fault as it is his.
Your problem dealing with jealousy
What if it’s you with the problem? Girl, you gotta kill it now so it does not ruin your relationship… all of your relationships.
Maybe you can’t help it. OK, lets work with that. If you really have a serious problem dealing with jealousy, then don’t date ”player men.” If he’s always flirting with other women and it throws you into a rage, stop putting yourself in these positions. The description of the man above, that could be you.
Do you really want to be the person your boyfriends have to fear? Nothing has ever been made better through jealousy. It drives a wedge down the middle of your relationship and prevents you from gaining total trust and love from your man. You should check out a great book called No More Jealousy that helps you find the source of these jealous feelings and changes the way you think about yourself and your man. If you’re man is jealous, FORCE HIM to read this book!
Our advice: never allow it. It will only get worse. If you have issues dealing with jealousy, go get counseling and definitely check out the confidence building audio course. Find out why you feel this way and figure out how to avoid it before it breaks up the best relationship youve ever had.