Flirting?! Im an adult. Learning how to flirt is for little kids!
Wrong! Knowing how to flirt is more important in this time of your life than it ever has been. When it comes to intuition, men are about as intuitive as a starfish. In fact, they are downright afraid of doing anything that might seem like harassment.
That cute guy youve been daydreaming about might be similarly smitten with you. He’s just afraid of over-stepping your boundaries. He has no way of knowing you are into him unless you do a little flirting with him.
He has to know its OK to switch to seduction mode.
You can’t wait for him
But can’t he just know that I like him and make the first move?
Studies have shown, that only about 30% of guys have this skill. Its just not something that guys spend any effort on learning. They don’t have any movies or TV shows that teach them to be smooth. The only talk they get about this is that awkward sex talk their dad gives them when their 10 years old.
There is a reason its called getting lucky. Really, knowing how to flirt effectively is the best weapon in your arsenal.
If you really want to bring out the big guns and get your “target” interested, you need to read The Secrets of Flirting with Men by flirting expert, Mimi Tanner. She coined one of our favorite lines, “Life without flirting …is just existing!” This really is one of the best resources for really understanding how to make yourself irresistible to men with your sexy flirting. Read it!
It’s part of “The Game”
Women showing their interest has been a part of humanity since the first cave woman learned to smile and toss her matted hair. To put it plainly, it is something you just do. There really is no way out of this one. It has to be done. When you get to become a master at flirting, youll find that there is never a shortage of guys in your life.
Men love a good flirt. Have you ever had a man skilled on how to flirt chat you up? It really makes your day when you get the right kind of interest. Its a combination of intense interest and seductive joy mixed with that little question in the back of your head, Is he toying with me?
To put it plainly, men rarely make the first move. Sure, he walked across the crowed bar to introduce himself, but it all started when you looked over at him with a faint smile and then shyly looked away. You sent the first signal!
The seductive language of the body
Much of this seduction game has to do with body language. Things like flipping your hair and pointing you body towards him are on the subtle side but can get downright suggestive when you touch your cleavage or lick your lips.
Get a book or two on body language if you are really clueless on this subject. We love The Body Language Project. You will discover the secrets to un coding body language and find out what he’s really saying in this book. In reality,it all starts with mischievous smile. The guy has to know you are open to him coming over to talk to you.
Eye contact is also key in this process. Without eye contact, there is actually no way to know for sure if your target got the message. Look at any fashion or celebrity magazine. The picture where the starlet is peering at you from behind her tussled hair pretty sexy!
Make him feel special
Knowing how to flirt is also about compliments. What a great shirt? Follow that statement by touching it (and him) sensually as you walk past. If he has a brain in his head, he will come find you within minutes to start a conversation. The trick about compliments is that they have to be real. Complimenting his filthy t-shirt is not only a little weird, if you end up with this guy, he’ll think you like how much of a pig he is!
Aim your compliments at things that are really unique about him. If there is anything about him you can tell he put effort into or cares about, definitely notice it and be impressed. Keep in mind as stated before: ANYTHING you choose to compliment him on is a sign of approval. “I love how you stay up all night playing video games,” is going to backfire if you actually hate them.
Add a little push-pull
Flirting is about being playful. It’s about seducing men and giving him reason to view you in that way. It should also pose a challenge to him. Let him know that he hasn’t won you yet. Feel free to bust out some playful insults. For example, let’s say he’s got the sculpted messy hair look. Some guys spend a half an hour to get it perfectly messy. If this is your guy, call him on it, Did you just get out of bed? Follow this with a sly smile, maybe a wink.
It is imperative you never pick on something that he might really be insecure about. Things like his belly, hair loss, ahem package size, his height (unless he’s tall), skin problems (unless he’s too tan), or any other thing about himself he seems to be preoccupied about. You will actually end up insulting him and thats not the goal here.
As you get more skill on how to flirt, you start to develop a sixth sense on how far you can push a guy before he simply loses interest. The great thing is as long as you keep smiling and do things in a way that it stays on the joking level, you really can say anything to a man and hell follow you like a puppy dog.
Create a “situation”
Make things as easy as you can for him to approach you. If you’re with a bunch of friends, find a way to make it easy for him to make his move. Maybe venture out on your own to look at something near him. Perhaps you can brush up against him on your way by, “Oops, excuse me…” Now he has the perfect situation to say hi!
Of course, this isn’t very subtle, but trust us …he will never notice that you were in control the whole time. You should try to always create a situation where you get a chance to touch him. Be careful, don’t get too suggestive. Just something “innocent” and playful.
You are a sensual being
Think of flirting as showcasing your sensuality. You can hold your fingers in a way that they are accidentally pointing at your cleavage. You can drink from a straw with slow, deliberate motions. Slow down your movements and let the image linger. Look in the mirror and practice blinking really slowly. Pretty sexy, huh?
Understanding how to flirt is not about lewd behavior or deliberate acts. Grabbing your boobs or making raunchy motions with your tongue will get you attention. It might even get you a lot of attention. But no guy will stick around for long if he thinks you always act so immodest.
Keep it light, keep it playful, watch some old film noir movies to see how some of the starlets from the 50s had their game perfected. At the very root of this little game is knowing that you are sexy. Once you get that sexy feeling, its easy to tap into that sensual energy and project it outward. Go to our extensive section on how to be fabulously attractive to find out more ways to get that man into your life. Flirting is as much about being a total package as it is about fun gestures and flirty playfulness.
If youre new and just figuring out how to flirt, you will have some mistakes. Some will be embarrassingly funny. It happens to the best of us. Dont get too caught up on any mistakes and try everything until you find what works best for you.
Ready? Go get him, tigress!