Why do men cheat?
If you are dealing with infidelity, you can start by asking, why do men cheat? Why would a guy who seems to be so in love with you actively go out of his way to betray your trust and love?
The answer is a bit less sinister than you might initially imagine. Before we get to that, let’s identify what kind of a man we are dealing with. There are basically two kinds of men who end up cheating on you in this world. There are those certain guys who are smooth with the ladies and then theres everyone else. Normal guys who just end up in a situation and get in too deep before they realize what they’ve done. For the following reasons, we are assuming you have a normal dude who ended up cheating on you.
He can’t get everything he needs
Best answer as to why do men cheat: there is no such thing as a perfect person. Sure, youre a pretty awesome girl and you guys get along well together, but there are things that he needs from his relationship that simply cannot offer.
In fact, some of your greatest assets are also your greatest downfalls. For example, if you are the happy-go-lucky, free-spirited type, it also may mean you are bad with your money. He might absolutely adore you for your freedom, but secretly wish you were more reliable. You feel the same way about him, too! Maybe hes the guy who has all of these great ideas that you really admire, but hes also too much of a dreamer and needs to commit to one idea and follow it.
When you add the other woman, who has all the qualities you lack now you have a recipe for why people cheat.
Its very rare that a guy will go for another girl who’s exactly like the one hes with. The other woman usually has something significant that you dont. Given that this is something that he really misses in your relationship, he feels drawn to her and connections happen way beyond his control.
Before he knows it, he has two women in his life and he loves both of them. He did not specifically go out to ruin your life, he just finally found that missing element and got drawn in. Thats not to say that he is being immoral and selfish, but it is the sad reality for why men cheat.
There is a great book written about this topic called His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley that really digs deep into why these things happen. Better yet, it gives you great advice on whether you can save the relationship or not. It’s also packed with tips on how to move on and how to prevent it in the future. This really is a powerful book!
The thrill is gone
Some time around the end of the first year and a half or so of a relationship, the infatuation begins to wear off. The sex becomes less frequent. You settle into comfort. The sexy lingerie gets replaced with the granny panties. Both of you don’t feel as sexy anymore.
Some people (women included) are just addicted to that new love feeling. The moment he realizes he does not crave you anymore, he freaks out. This sends him back on the quest to finding that infatuation again. He might still love you very deeply, but this addiction to that feeling is a very powerful one.
Life just happens
Many of the men interviewed on why do men cheat had very normal lives and would have never considered cheating on their wives or girlfriends. But then something happened and they found themselves drawn to this other person. They all felt guilt and shame over this cheating relationship, but as their feelings expanded for the other woman, they felt more and more compelled to be with her too.
His relationship with you is solid and comforting, but the other one is infrequent and dangerous. In all honesty, people live painfully boring lives. Even though they get some distractions and feel a general happiness, that thrill of the forbidden is very appealing.
As the relationship progresses, we all tend to integrate our esteem into our partner. When someone else comes along and shows interest in us sexually, its a huge jolt of self-confidence. Yep. I still got it! We become infatuated with the person who makes us feel sexy again. Men don’t go to Hooters because the food’s any good. Its full of cute women who are trained to flirt with the customers.
Notice that this is the last reason for why do men cheat. Because it rarely has everything to do with you. But if you mix the three reasons above with the fact that you have gotten out of shape, or have become reclusive, or have become emotionally distant or depressed or angry: now you have the perfect recipe for infidelity.
Maybe sex is not as important to you as it is to him. If you are looking for the source of why do men cheat, it might also just be about sex. In the beginning you were all amped up on your new love you were feeling for him, but now you have settled into a sexual calendar you feel comfortable with. Believe it, he notices the death of his sex life. If he has a really high sex drive, and yours is close to nothing, hes suffering. If you add to this the possibility that you dont allow him to look at pornography or allow him any other sexual outlet, he will cheat. If you feel your sex life slipping away, your relationship will soon follow. Read this great book with great ideas on how to spice up your love life and you’ll be well on your way to avoid your man wanting to stray.
We specifically have stayed away from any moral judgments here to just give you the facts. For normal guys, cheating is rarely done with the purpose of hurting you in any way. Things happen. Were not saying he’s right and were definitely not telling you that an affair is not a selfish act. Now that you have learned why do men cheat, you need to decide if its right to forgive him or if its time to move on.
If you suspect your guy is a cheater, There’s not a lot you can do without learning some serious information about how to catch him in the act. Accusations are ridiculous, but proof is undeniable!