I dont know why men cheat. Is he a player or something?
The funny thing about asking why men cheat is that most women already know if some guys are players, yet they still end up in relationships with them. For some guys, its part of who they are. They might say they love you and they might even mean it, but for them, cheating is where they get most of their self esteem. If you’re pretty sure your man isn’t a player, you can read about normal guys who cheat in an entirely accidental way.
But you’re probably looking for this page because you have your suspicions. Girl you need to get smart… fast. If you suspect your fella is a playa, then you should check out this book on How to Catch a Cheating Spouse. Whether you’re married to this man or not, this book has tons of great information on how to catch him doing something shady every time. It looks into all the lies and cover-ups that cheaters all do. If you’ve been cheated on before, then this book is a must read!
The anantomy of a player
Lets get technical for a second (don’t groan, this is kinda interesting). In the 1800s, an Italian guy named Vilfredo Pareto came up with the Pareto Principle that basically states that 80% of the money is controlled by 20% of the population. Boring huh? Economists started noticing this ratio throughout all facets of life. For example, we wear 20% of our favorite clothing 80% of the time or we might spend 80% of our time with 20% of the people we know.
How this applies here is that biologists were able to determine that in any given area, 20% of the males are sleeping with 80% of the women. Across just about every species, the Alpha Males were scoring at an incredible rate. For whatever reason, these dudes had desirable traits that most of the women found sexually attractive. OK, science lesson over.
The Alpha Male
Hopefully that gave you a little background on why men cheat, especially if we’re asking, “Is he a player?” To put it simply, some guys have a little extra something that women find irresistible. He could be handsome, charming, famous, rich, or just have a massive sexual aura about them. You’ve seen these men before. They walk into a place with authority and for some reason, you can’t keep your eyes off of them.
Some guys just have a certain presence and they hold a lot of power over women. And yes, they tend to have sex with nearly all the women they entangle.
So is he a player, really?
A lot of guys try to act like players and whether they have any of the desirable qualities or not. A better question is, Will he cheat on me? Unfortunately, you can’t be a player without playing the game. A short answer is probably. An even shorter answer is yes. Even the wannabe guys with no real skills in seducing a woman will pounce at the one girl who is dumb (or drunk) enough to say yes.
Like we said, a player gets much of his esteem and identity from how many girls he’s been with. For guys who consider themselves Ladies Men, it’s not a question of why men cheat, it’s when.
How do I protect myself from a player?
Be honest with yourself, you can spot him a mile away. He has all those qualities you find superficial, yet irresistible. Watch how he is around other women. Its pretty impressive he can subtly flirt with them with you standing right there!
Here is where things get weird. You start to think that all he needs is you and he’ll change for you. You might even get this guy to marry you. This will never change who this guy fundamentally is. Remember? He gets his validation from conquering women. You may have gotten the wild stallion to wear a saddle, but that does not mean all of those primal urges aren’t still there.
There is a reason that 20% of the guys sleep with 80% of the women. They know what theyre doing! Its awesome to be with a guy who gets it. Just try not to give your heart to a guy who might actually love you but also sees you as the next one in line. If you’re wondering why men cheat, one answer is: he’s just a player.
What if I’m already with a player?
Then it’s time to make a decision. And don’t you dare base any decision you make on his ability to change! You have to decide that you love him for who he is and understand that your only way to keep him interested is to be awesome and always work on making him feel seduced. Or you need to get rid of him. But don’t dump him unless you know for sure that he’s got something (or many things) on the side…